Fool me once shame on you...

I don't know how to start this.....First let me say that my heart goes out to every guy that fell in love with what he thought was his "soul mate"...only to have every ounce of hopes and dreams crushed by another man stepping into the picture.

My soon to be ex-wife and I, where married for three rough years. My wife wanted more than any thing in this world to become a police officer. I am a Firefighter, and as you know or not....make a pathetic salary. We have a beautiful three year old girl, who still wants to know why daddy does not live at home any more. The divorce stems from a few main things..First God gave me a wonderful gift called pride.. but that is also the problem...early into my wives carrier we lived with my folks so she could reserve with a small town police department. With me being the only bread winner times where hard. She decided to share her hardships with her field training officer, who intern tried to turn her against me...He would have been successful until I intercepted some of their E-Mail. "I love You" and phrases like that where all ways in them. My wife swore up and down on her Grandfathers grave that nothing happened, and me the dumb ass that I am believed her. She quit that department after I went the police chief with the story...He was fired. During all of this she went to work for another city...and after 1 year there she has done the same thing...this time some thing did happen.

I left on a Sunday evening...she begged me not to go, but thats where the pride thing kicks in. She said that she never did any thing, but when your heart knows something is not better listen. After being apart a couple of weeks I went over to her place to get some stuff. It was early, but she said that she would be up...My wife was still in bed crashed out. after banging on the door she finally awoke. She said that she was out until 2 am with her "friend Allen", but continued to swear that nothing is going on, that they are just friends. I said that I needed to get some things out of her car, CDs. etc..., she gave me the keys and I headed out side.. I went in on the passenger side and I noticed that seat laid pretty much all of the way back. as I opened the glove box, I noticed a wrapper in the floor..a condom wrapper. I went back inside, gathered my stuff and left...I didn't say a damn thing. she wondered what was wrong, but I never mumbled a single word. I have often wondered what I did wrong. After the first occurrence she completely alienated herself from me, she said that she felt bad. After the second I had to leave her. I see my kid 5 out of 7 days a week. Thank God that she still wants me in our child's life, just not in hers..She wants to go out when ever she can, and for the most part she does. she will leave my girl with her mom so she can go screw Mr. wonderful. I hope she is happy now. I hope she "finds herself" while she is at it.

To every one of you going through the similar thing that I did....God bless you all. If you have children, be strong for them, and for yourself.