Since October of 1993 my husband's ex-wife has managed to walk out of
a
relationship with their 4 month old son, without him knowing that the
first mortgage was in the process of foreclosure, the second mortgage
hadn't been paid in two months and utility bills had been partially
paid
for three months and service was about to be discontinued on
the
electric, water and garbage. Being a house wife, she was able
to
retrieve the mail and discard of it without him knowing and receiving
the phone calls.
Once she was gone she collected AFDC (Aid for Dependent Children) or
fancy for welfare, in two different counties and he was sued
for the
amount that she collected for their son. She failed to tell them
that
he had been paying her weekly and providing his medical insurance
through his employer. He ended up eating the cost of both counties
of
almost $5,000.00.
By February of 1994, she had took him to court to claim his house, car
and pension. He got to keep it all, but also the court awarded
him with
all her debt that she had created, even the personal loans which totaled
over $11,500.00 with HER family and personal friends! On top
of
assuming her debt, it was stipulated that he pay her the sum of
$1,000.00 monthly for family support until October of 1995, where it
would be modified to child support. (It was modified at that
time to
$400.00 monthly).
From the months that had passed to now, she has made visittion wih his
son as difficult as she can by encouraging him not to visit with
us and
speaking negatively about us. She has insuated that I have abused
their
son, and has accused us of not keeping our house clean and it being
the
cause of his allergies and asthma being aggravated. (His physician
has
confirmed with us that he has no allergies and has never been treated
for asthma).
She has told everyone that she is raising her son all on her own and
has
labled their son's father to be a dead beat dad, which he is not. She
will sing her song to anyone who will believe anything that comes out
of
her mouth. She fails to tell anyone she receives child support from
his
father and that he plays an active role in his life, althouth she tries
her hardedst to disrupt it.
She continues to reek havioc over our lives and sometimes I think it
will never end. The worse stunt she pulled was in August of 1997
and
she accused my husband of hitting their son. She filed a false
police
report and filed a complaint with child protective services.
That's
when we seized all visitations with his son and hired an attorney.
We filed a motion to protect his visitations without the interference
of
her and having a meeting point for drop off and pick up without any
verbal communication with her. We requested that he be put into
therapy
to help him unravel some of the damage that she had created.
With the
help of a therapist we could help him through his outbursts and violent
outrages he had while playing with our other children and the constant
irrational behavior and crying due to the negativity she had created
by
not encouraging visits and her telling him how much he doesn't like
it
with us and how he doesn't like me.
Unfortunately we did not visit with him until after the court hearing,
which was October 2. I can remember that date forever because
it was
one week to the date that our son had died. I was pregnant
during the
time of all this crap going on and had a very complicated pregnancy
after the first trimester. Our son was born prematurely and died
one
hour after his birth.
After the heaing the Judge and mediator had thanked us for asking that
their son be put in therapy to help him and ordered that he start
therapy immediately. Everything else that we requested we were granted,
which pissed her off.
She had her attorney file a motion to modifiy her child support since
we
had not seen him for visitation for a month and a half. Of course
she
was awarded more money. After the modification of $1000.00 family
support in October of 1995 to $400.00 monthly child support,
she now
was given an increase of $711.00 a month because of the decrease in
time
he had with his son. But this is temporary untl our time increases
again.
The therapy has worked wonders but there has been an interuption in
his
sessions due to her not taking him and we are now in the process of
trying to get him back into therapy.
Because of the break he is starting wih his outbursts again, but we
have
a better handle of the situation because of the help we have received.
Our only concern of course is for this little boy who is very confused
and is torn about the feelings he has for his father and even me because
of what she says. He will be 5 at the end of June and has no
stability
in his life offered from her. Since October 1993 he has been
moved 12
times! I'm 32 and have only moved 3 times in my life. Yet
she claims
she provides him a stable home.
I am a mother and a wife first before anyone in my life. I never use
my
children as a way of manipulaiton even if I new I would benefit from
it.
I cannot fathom anyone who uses their children in a way that she uses
their son.
Truely the only person who is hurt by her actions is their son.
She is
a coniving, maipulating, self absorbed habitual liar who thinks only
of
herself. She is lazy and has the stability of holding down a
job
securely as my stepson has had the stability of a real home.
As of now she has been unemployed for the last eight months.
I have absolutely no respect for her as a mother or woman, let alone
a
human being. She doesn't deserve the sweetness that she has been
blessed with who got the raw end of the deal getting her as a
mother.
She will never realize the true meaning of motherhood and her undying
selfish acts effects only the welfare and well being of their son.
She has too much hate in her to let go and just let us be and I have
too
much stubborness in me to let her walk all over us the way she thinks
she can.
I married my husband knowing he was a package deal with his son.
I
promised to be the best wife I could and a terrific stepmother.
I have
commited myself to that promise and one way or another she will have
to
learn that I am t going anywhere. No matter what accusations
she throws
out there, no matter what problems she tries to create between us.
We are bigger and better than the trash she presents herself to be,
and
in time, we will have saved their son from her evil ways.
Thank you for letting me vent.
Signed,
No flames HOT enough to burn my husband's ex-wife!