Can't buy me Love

I just felt that I needed to get a few things off of my chest, so to speak....... My story isn't as bad as many that I have read, it's just that I hate having to pull Mommy Dearest load! I have been involved with Jim since July of '98, when we started dating. His wife , Amanda had left him for a neighbor a month earlier. She took their 8 yr old daughter and moved out of state to join her lover (well she claimed that he was just a friend!)and left her 6 yr old twin sons. Jim knew that things were not good, but he continued to try to make things work. He allowed her to spend a week with this "friend" in Texas so she could think things out.....She was confused and needed time to decide on what she wanted. Jim watched the children at home, and hoped that she would get herself straigth. She came home and said that she had forgotten to think about their marriage.... It wasn't but a few weeks and Jim decided that he had, had enough. He told her that it was over. He did, however, ask her to wait until he retired ( a little over a year) before she moved out of state. He didn't care to continue
the marriage he only needed help with their sons. She didn't want this and decided that she wanted to leave the state now! Jim had to take leave and try to piece his life back together. Although he said that he had long ago ceased to have any feelings for this woman, it still "threw" him for a loop. He could not believe that the woman that he had at one time loved could have done this to their boys....This act in itself was and is unexcuseable. In the following months Amanda never attempted to see her sons....... She didn't have the time, I suppose. She did, however, find the time to try and make his and my life miserable. She was constantly e-mailing me stories of how Horrible Jim was. She was sure that this would make me run. She was
wrong! Of course to be honest it did cause many fights!!!!! I tried my best to ignore her and would reply to all of her stories the same way. "Amanda, If Jim was so mean and horrible why in God's green earth did you leave your children with him????" She repeatedly replied, "They are better off with him."....Well call me crazy, but if a man was so bad, I would never leave my children with him! I tend to believe that most women would not. The twins are precious little boys with a few problems. They each have been diagnosed with
ADHD and a behavioral disorder. Many of the problems they have are spin offs of the ADHD but many are not.....They are now 7 and still refuse to "poop" in the potty! Mommy Dearest had them still in diapers at 3-4 yrs old! They chose not to dress themselves and to talk to Mommy horribly, which she allowed! They would smack her and yell at her when Dad wasn't around. She called Jim at work to come home and make them stop countless times!!!! I feel that her actions are 90% of their problems today. Jim is a wonderul Dad! He
has been a Mommy & a Daddy for many years. He would work, come home, cook dinner for him and the children, clean house, wash clothes, and spend what little time he could with the children before putting them all to bed. Amanda took this "free" time and visited!!!!!!! She had a life of luxury! Amanda is wonderful at being a weekend Mom..........She never has to deal with the things that Jim and I have to deal with on a regular basis. Jim and the boys moved in with me around the first of October, and I am thrilled that
they did. I love the boys dearly, but I get furious with the thought that Mom doesn't have to do half of the things that I do......Jim runs himself ragged trying to make up for the "lost" years. Mom moves into a $150,000 home with boyfriend but still can't afford to see the boys more than once a month. She is wonderful at buying them little trinkets, bringing them to the park and to "fun" places........she's even real
good at taking them out to eat every meal. She brings them back to us, plants a peck on their cheek and says, "Mommy loves you, I'll see you later." What an entertainer she is!!!! I try to be nice to her for the children's sake, but I hate every fiber of her being! She is a psycho that is waiting to flip............Sorry to ramble but I just wanted to get a few things off of my chest! We are alot luckier than many on your board, but this woman has caused many hours of arguements!!!!!!!!!!!!!!